Now Bend Over For Your Punishment…
When potential victims volunteer to be featured on my blog, they sometimes tell me how wonderful they are. I get little gems like “my professors always seemed to like me” or “I’m boring” or “you can’t make fun of me because I have inoperable brain cancer” and so on and so forth.
And then there are the honest people like Tilly Bud, a.k.a. the Laughing Housewife. If you visit her blog, you’ll find that she puts herself out on the table for everyone to see:
I am a little fat. I like food; what can I say? I have dull hair: mousey. I don’t wear much make-up and have no need of a dressing table. If I look like a bag lady, I chose my own clothes. If I look nice, the Hub picked them for me.
And look at the photo of herself she put in her header:
And she keeps a less conspicuous photo of herself on her “About” page, where she also has pictures of her kids and permissive husband. She puts up a good facade, but there are cracks. (It’s always the modest, quiet people who are the sickest.) This is the same woman who has a post called “I Know What You Did Last Night. You Disgusting Creature” and it’s moments like that where she shows her true colors.
That’s right, my friends, we have our first dominatrix here at Necrotic Hijinks! It’s odd to meet a dominatrix who wants to get her butt whipped (usually it’s the other way around) so she may not be very good at sex work. There’s something about the whole “housewife by day, BDSM queen at night” that’s a little questionable. How exactly does she punish her children? Is it legal to spank your children in Great Britain?
With what he has learned from his mother, I bet her teenage son is quite popular with the ladies.
And take another look at her header photo. Imagine a dominatrix who makes faces like that when she’s punishing you. Is she reacting to the stench because you forgot to clean your naughty bits beforehand? Are those glasses supposed to make her slave feel like he has a small penis? And shouldn’t she think about sharpening those teeth so she can inflict some additional pain? Those canines look a little too flat.
And just imagine a dominatrix laughing that way at you as you strip down. I bet it’s not an evil laugh. It’s probably a giggle and snort like you’d expect from the female reincarnation of Steve Urkel. But then again, there are a lot of sickos out there who would go for something like that… and Tilly Bud would know. Therefore, I have to give her a lot of credit for her intelligent marketing tactics. (And: I expect to receive 33% of the extra profits she receives for her “services” from people who discovered her through my blog.)