Not too long ago, I wrote a post where I assumed the role of a kindergarten student. Today, I am going to assume the role of a kindergarten teacher because today’s victim has barely progressed beyond these immortal words from the movie Kindergarten Cop:
Boys have a penis. Girls have a vagina.
That’s right! And today’s Mr. Ignorant is Maxim. Maxim, who probably owns a set of male genitals, seems completely clueless about what that biology looks like. Here’s an x-ray from his blog:
Oh where to begin? I’ll start at the top. Even though we use the word as popular slang, there is no bone in the penis. And if Maxim’s fits through the hole in the top of that x-ray, I feel very very sorry for him.
That must be why his balls look so sad. It’s a shame too because some part of Maxim’s anatomy needs to be called Mr Happy. Maybe his belly button is bigger.
And if we look more closely at his balls, we’ll notice that there’s foreskin on both sides. I think his mohel missed something. Or: maybe the mohel decided to have mercy and let that little deformation pass by. That looks like it would be painful to remove.
On the other hand, Maxim’s little deformation gives new meaning to the phrase “getting some head.”
And for someone who is obviously so clueless about standard male anatomy and sex in general, I find it astonishing that he has a picture on his blog of how he was conceived. Maybe this explains the deformations:
And then there’s a photo of his birth:
Unfortunately, Maxim seems to think that these pictures are:
He must have led a sheltered childhood if he can look at those images and not realize what they are.
And he says he’s a teacher. Just think of the things he could be unwittingly traumatizing those kids with. Before you can be an educator, you ought to be educated; Maxim is a shining example of that.