What a former college instructor really thinks…

Posts tagged “kittens

What Cougars Like to Put in their Mouths (And What We Don’t)

Today I am writing about a blog written by someone who goes by the name M. Rae.  Fortunately, this is her bowling name… which means that we’re off to the gutter again.

M. Rae’s blog is called Peas and Cougars and the banner image shows the cougar chewing on something tasty:

That’s right, the cougar is chomping on a pea.  There are several reasons why this might be significant.  Cougars are old by definition and they need a high fiber diet to stay healthy.  But: there’s another P-word that cougars like to have between their lips… but this is a PG-rated blog and it is impolite to talk about that here.  If we talk about impolite things, the WordPress Angel of Doom will come for us.

The danger is that our cougar (M. Rae) and the catlike Angel of Doom will get friendly and make cougar babies:

Um… no.  That was a misprint.  Since no one in their right mind would want to have sex with babies, we will have to find a new use for these cougar kittens.  It was hard for me to find anything on M. Rae’s site that wasn’t sexually charged, but there was one idea that really stands out in my mind:

And that brings me back to the high fiber diet.  M. Rae is doing a great disservice to her readers by encouraging them to follow that healthy practice; it makes everything taste bad.  Those kittens would have loved to give up their lives to make a tasty entree and she’s insulting their sacrifice by cooking up “Peas and Cougars.”


This has been another installment of Victimizing Other Bloggers.  All images were taken from Peas and Cougars, although I did have some fun messing with the picture from this post

And as a gratuitous public service announcement: don’t forget that sharing these posts and clicking on my Facebook Like Box will help future victims find this blog.  We all must work together to make sure that everybody has a chance to be victimized!  (When I run for President, that last sentence will be my campaign slogan.  I tell it like it is…)

Proposed Biology Course: The Anatomy of Kittens

College students usually hate science classes and professors are often stuck trying to find a way to make the subject interesting.  As we all know, there is one foolproof way to get students interested in anything: add some cute, cuddly kittens.

And it works so well with an anatomy course, too.  You can talk about all the parts of a foot and then show a cute little kitty paw.  How adorable!  And having a kitten in front of the classroom means that the students will always be looking in your direction instead of at the clock.

But you may object: anatomy courses usually require dissections and there’s no way a professor could ever convince students to slice into a kitten.  Your point is well taken, but you’d be wrong.  When it comes to academics, students are always looking for the easiest way to get something done, and the kittens make dissections so much easier.  Because kittens are small and young, their skin is much easier to pierce with the scalpel.  And as an added bonus, they don’t yelp as loud or claw as hard as a fully grown cat; this is especially important if a student applies an inadequate dose of formaldehyde before starting to cut.  As you can see, everyone benefits when you bring kittens into the lab!

The janitors benefit too because they won’t have to clean up the mess.  Just tell your students to wrap up their kittens and bring them home when the dissection is done.  Their dogs will appreciate the tasty treat.