What a former college instructor really thinks…

Posts tagged “grocery

Man vs. Food?

Ladies and Gentleman, I am humbled to announce that I have a celebrity victim today.  Please welcome Adam Richman to Victimizing Other Bloggers!

Oh… wait.  That’s not Adam Richman?  Darn.  It sure looked like him.


Despite that huge disappointment, we do have an exciting victim who happens to be an Adam Richman lookalike.  His name is Josh Sterner and he hates working in retail.   He gives a lot of reasons (and visits the topic elsewhere on his blog) but a lot of these probably apply to people in other lines of work as well.  Before he complains about these things again, I’d like to ask him a few hard-hitting questions about his job:

1: Are you required to transport old, moldy meat and produce out of the store.  I did not see that on your list and that worries me.  I’ve seen the occasional green loaf of bread and fuzzy sirloin on the shelves but it worries me that your employer is not forcing you to do these unpleasant tasks.  By not complaining about your employer making you do this, you are opening your paycheck-giver to litigation and that would be bad for your professional future.

2: Does your store rent out those fancy vacuum cleaners?  When you’re stuck doing a night shift with no customers around, have you ever tried giving your dog a bath with one of those things?

3: Have you ever tried giving a coworker a bath with one of those things?

4: Did you start dating that coworker soon after that night?

5: How many crushed insects can the customer expect to find in the average loaf of bread?

6: How many crushed insects can the customer expect not to notice in the average loaf of bread?

7: Why did your store stop carrying my favorite product?

8: Why do you always get 500 people asking you that question AFTER the product is discontinued when there were only 20 people who ever bought it in the first place?

9: Is there anything in that yellow frosting other than sugar and water?  Or: do you have less nauseating ways to release your stress?

10: Do you realize that you named your employer in an earlier post?