What a former college instructor really thinks…

Posts tagged “conservatives

My First Victim is not a Victim, or the Faults of Academic Liberals

In my first post on this blog, I offered to thrash kindly critique the blog of anyone who wanted to be victimized (wait a minute… maybe “victimized” was right) by my humor.  I just got my volunteer and it is the last thing I expected…

Idiot Photographer volunteered and s/he does a photography blog that has recently been featuring men in drag.  Having spent so many years in a university setting, I constantly heard feminists and gay advocates harp on how everyone who isn’t their brand of liberal is obviously anti-gay, anti-woman, and anti-anything-but-medieval-traditional.  These professors write theories about it,  author books about it,  tattoo slogans about it on their butts, etc.   And so I must say that it is refreshing to have I.P. making an invitation to me, a blogger who sometimes likes to make acidic commentary in the direction of academic liberal activists.

Unfortunately, Idiot Photographer is not someone I can victimize and it has nothing to do with political correctness.  I.P. would seem to have an uncorrupted brain.  I don’t know whether s/he is gay or not, but s/he obviously has an interest in gay-related themes.  It is most unusual for me to find someone from that arena who seems to just be going along and living his or her life, not referring to people as bigots solely on the basis of their non-leftist views.  (Well, either that or s/he missed the posts where I talked politics…)

And so my first victim in this blog is not a victim.  A little less mutual distrust goes a long way and it would be nice if professors could realize that.  On the other hand, professors can’t let themselves realize that little detail because they would be undermining their life’s work.  Conservatives, centrists, and anyone else not on the left (with the possible exception of Libertarians) have to be the professors’ enemy just so they can keep the boat afloat.  You can sell “Victim Studies” to students and fill classrooms because these topics make the students feel good.  (That’s right: students feel good because they believe they are being good people by learning the stuff.)  You can’t sell “Minority Photography that Doesn’t Discuss Victimhood” because students are no longer given the illusion of helping people.  Remember: university life is about people believing that they’re improving the world by reading and writing things that no one else looks at; real improvements aren’t usually part of the equation.

The Part Where I Burn Idiot Photographer at the Stake:

Okay, I lied earlier.  Idiot Photographer will be my first victim.  Even though I.P. hasn’t been corrupted, s/he surely has lots of friends who have been.   (Demographically, gays tend to be pretty liberal… probably because of the BS from the academic Left and bigotry from certain people on the Right.)  Some of these friends may consider interactions with a non-lefty to be a capital offense.   And so my message to Idiot Photographer is this: I apologize if you get beat up by your friends.  If you are gay, I hope they understand that you should be able to interact with whomever you please as long as you do not infringe upon anyone else.  Lefties can be extraordinarily intolerant that way.  And since you wanted a review of your site, I’ll say this: the drag photos aren’t my thing even though the quality of the photography is pretty good.  And I’m rather fond of the stairwells, bridges, and cathedrals.  But: keep doing what you’re doing.

Christian Conservative Euphemism for Penis

You guessed it!  It’s time for more immature penis jokes from your favorite intellectual blog!

One of my favorite (and least favorite) online writers is Mike Adams; he does satire on some of the same excesses in American higher education I like to write about.  He also does some serious religious columns, which are less to my tastes.

In his columns, Adams occasionally needs to refer to the male reproductive organ.  The term he uses is “hoo-hoo dilly.”  He calls the vagina a “cha cha,” which makes me glad that he doesn’t like to write about Latin dancing.   I know that Adams is not the only person who uses the HHD word, but I’d like to take a closer look at it anyway.   I think we all know that a dilly is a small pickle from “is that a pickle in your pocket?” fame, but what is a hoo-hoo?  You guessed it!  It’s the female reproductive area.  So, the female reproductive area plus a tiny pickle equals what, exactly?  (I’ll let you use your imaginations on that one.)

But let us assume that Adams’ readers are not familiar with the term “hoo-hoo dilly” from anywhere else.  What could make Adams think that a goofy-sounding phrase like that would blend in with his traditional conservative screeds on sex and sexuality?  It makes you wonder just how serious he intends to be, or perhaps he knows something about religious conservatives that the rest of us don’t.  These Creationism-lovers don’t seem to be too fond of science, so perhaps they have moral objections to the correct anatomical terminology.  I know that religious folks sometimes prefer to stick with words that appear in the Bible, so let’s see if that would sound right:

And the LORD created Adam and gave him a hoo-hoo dilly, and it was good.

Yeah, I didn’t think so either…