What a former college instructor really thinks…

Posts tagged “alcohol

Blogging for Booze

We’ve all heard stories about how atrocious young peoples’ writing often is these days and it can be difficult to convince then that proper grammar and spelling, not to mention coherent thought, are profoundly important.  However, I’m happy to announce that I’ve discovered a true innovator on this front and I encourage you to check out her blog to take a look.

Sayali611’s blog is called “Finding 42,” which she says here is a reference to “the answer to all questions about life” from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  Most blog visitors don’t visit “About” pages and many won’t recognize the literary reference, so the title might be puzzling to some.  Well, it might be puzzling until they look at her thumbnail picture:

This is how Sayali's photo appears on her blog.

With this photo size, Sayali looks like she’s 41 and trying to find her 42nd year… and she writes well enough to pass for someone older.  (She’s only 22 and she looks her real age if you open the bigger image on her blog.)  And: she appears to live in a country where the legal drinking age in some regions is as high as 25.  So while it had seemed odd that she would want to make herself look 20 years older, I think I see the purpose.  When she goes out partying, she could be using a printed copy of her blog’s home page as ID to obtain alcohol.  Judging from those sunglasses, she must have a pretty wicked hangover.

It may sound silly, but I think it’s true because Sayali shows all the signs of being a happy and serene drunk.  On her “Backstage Pass” page, she has these instructions for readers:

“P.S. – Before you go, why don’t you leave a comment about your most profound encounter? Would love to know how your hearts were touched…”

And her mini bio sounds like it could have been written while under the influence:

“Spent a lifetime building a wall around myself, only to realize that what remained inside was as hideous as anything i would protect myself from. this blog is my attempt to break free, one brick at a time, and to make sense of what was yet blocked out.

Maybe she had some weed with that vodka…?

But on a more serious note, I think Sayali could serve as an inspiration for American college students and the people who pass our nation’s drinking laws.  Just imagine: tell students that they have to create a blog that displays a high level of intelligence.  If they succeed, they will be permitted to use that blog as ID at a bar.  Since so many kids are blogging anyway, it might be a lot easier for them than waiting for someone older to accompany them to the liquor store.

And if the female students do this, they’ll be more like Sayali in another respect… and I’ll send this one out to the men: who doesn’t love a woman who’s smart, attractive, and drunk?  It’s a winning combination!

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TUI (Teaching Under the Influence)

I never showed up for class drunk, although I was sometimes tempted to.  While it might have made me a more entertaining teacher, I doubt that the students would have been eager to sit in the classroom for another 30 minutes after my unfortunate little vomiting spells.

In spite of this, I have come to believe that TUI is an excellent way to improve your student evaluations.  Who among us has not had students show up drunk for class, and who could believe that being drunk together wouldn’t increase camaraderie?   If you’re drunk, you can’t cover as much information in an hour; that makes the tests so much easier for the students.  On second thought, it makes the tests much easier unless you’re someone who remembers what he said when he was drunk.  The correct answer on a test should always match what you told the students in class, so you could end up with something like:

Q: Who was the 3rd president of the United States?

correct answer: BLAAAAAAARGH

And then you could fail all of those annoying industrious students who did their homework and gave an answer that the book thinks is correct.  Since books are an outdated technology and no one pays attention to them anyway, you have no reason to accept what the book says.  Then again… if you want to keep your job, you probably should give the students inflated grades to make them happy.  So, maybe you ought to bite your tongue and say that Thomas Jefferson is an acceptable correct answer.

It’s so much easier to accept an answer like that when you’re already drunk.