What a former college instructor really thinks…

Introducing the School’s New Lunch Lady

When Momfog volunteered to be featured in my Victimizing Other Bloggers series, here’s what she wrote:

“I’m not sure there’s much to ridicule about my blog. I’m extremely vanilla but you’re welcome to it. I like a good roast, myself.”

Vanilla?  This is a mother of five and she says she’s like a white creamy substance.  I happen to think she’s full of it.  Literally.  (Of course, I’m referring to a different white creamy substance.  Where do you think the kids came from?)

I hope it's vanilla she put in that frosting...

Of course I jest… sort of.  And she’s obviously a good sport, seeing as she wrote that she likes a good roast.  I’m impressed with anyone who could write the line “I like a good roast” so soon after her house burned down.  On the other hand, she has less laundry to do, fewer toilets to clean, no more closets to organize, no more “being happy about it,” and no more of the brain fogging condition all that work induces.  Or: maybe I misunderstood “I like a good roast.”  She might have meant roast beef, or maybe she meant Hell.  The way she keeps such a positive attitude after everything that has happened to her, maybe she meant that she likes going through Hell.  (The roast beef idea was a bit of a stretch for a lunch lady…)

And take a look at her beautiful children.  They’re adorable and they’re young.  Very young.  And cute.  And they’re having to learn how to behave like grown-ups at such an early age.  As Momfog explains,”there is room in our lives for serious books, adult themed movies or theater, or ridiculously priced lattes in pretentious coffee shops.”  Gee, I wish my mom gave me porn and coffee when I was that age!  That must be why Momfog won this lovely porn star award, which also helps to explain where those five kids came from.

And this is the lady who could be feeding your kids at school every day…

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12 responses

  1. LOL! (literally)

    The beginning of that was so wildly inappropriate and unexpected (she’s a *mother*!!) I actually laughed out loud, which really doesn’t happen that often.

    And the irony of “I like a good roast!” Hah!

    And, Momfog, if you’re reading–I’m not laughing at your house burning down–that must have sucked massively and you have my greatest sympathies. But then again, you did volunteer for the roast (Thanks, btw!)

    July 17, 2011 at 6:23 pm

  2. I’m glad you laughed. And I’m sure it will warm your heart to know that yours is up next.

    July 17, 2011 at 9:47 pm

  3. *cringe*

    yeah…. heartwarming for sure…

    Well, have fun!

    July 17, 2011 at 10:23 pm

  4. This has to be the best in the series 🙂

    July 18, 2011 at 1:21 am

  5. porn and coffee? haha. Nice

    July 18, 2011 at 7:30 am

  6. Nice. Creamy white substances and porn. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

    @Aeliusblythe No worries. You’d be surprised how hilarious a house fire can be.

    July 18, 2011 at 10:01 am

    • Happy to hear it. If I thought you didn’t have a sense of humor, I would have skipped over you.

      July 18, 2011 at 11:17 am

  7. Very well done! I’m impressed!

    July 18, 2011 at 2:59 pm

  8. Ha!

    July 18, 2011 at 5:30 pm

  9. @ people I haven’t responded to yet

    Thanks.

    July 18, 2011 at 9:24 pm

  10. marcialoyd

    Creamy white substances and porn and momfog. Never thought i’d see all those words in the same sentence. LOL. Love it!

    July 19, 2011 at 8:46 am

  11. I will never look at a cake the same way again. o.O

    July 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm

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