What a former college instructor really thinks…

“Oskar Schindler was my Grandfather’s Great Uncle and That Makes Me a Special Student”

Dear Readers,

Please don’t get your hopes up.  Here at Necrotic Hijinks, we do not stoop so low as to joke about genocide.  When American college students become the victims, we will reconsider our policy.  (Legal disclaimer: we do not condone murder of any kind.)  Thank you.

Signed,

The Management

———-

Dear Readers,

Here at Necrotic Hijinks, we do not think it is funny that so many students have no idea who Oskar Schindler was, or that Adolf Hitler spoke German, or that the Nazis killed millions of innocent people, or that genocides continue to take place today.  Please excuse the misleading headline for this post; few students would ever claim to be related to Oskar Schindler because few colleges care enough to teach their students anything of importance.  You can’t claim to be related to someone you’ve never heard of.

Signed,

The Management

———-

Dear College-Age Readers,

We at Necrotic Hijinks extend our heartfelt apologies that your professors banished you from class when you informed them that Adolf Hitler spoke German.  According to most professors, Adolf Hitler speaks a funny form of English and lived on a ranch in Crawford, Texas.   That other Hitler guy is an unimportant detail to them.

Signed,

The Management

———-

Dear College-Age Readers,

Even though it is important to have important topics like genocide included in the curriculum, it is not appropriate for you to hold up the nude photographs of Holocaust victims as a reason to offer the course.  Even though the nude photos are what most professors will find interesting about the subject, it would be disgraceful for professors to prance in front of the classroom with the photos saying “Looky!  Looky! Looky!”  And you know they’d do it, don’t you?

Signed,

The Management

———-

Dear Readers,

Here at Necrotic Hijinks, we pride ourselves on historical accuracy.  Contrary to what you had thought, the man’s name was spelled O-S-K-A-R.  While we appreciate that you took your professors’ advice not to use Wikipedia as an authoritative source, please consider making use of legitimate reference materials before going ballistic over someone else’s spelling.  Thank you.

Signed,

The Management

———–

Dear Readers,

Despite what you may be thinking, this post was not designed to be gratuitous humor based on a tragic historical event.  You would be amazed to hear what some college faculty have to say about this period of history and its aftermath.  Many of them only care about dead people if they were killed because of their race, ethnicity, class, gender, religion, or sexual orientation… and Jewish (and Christian) genocide victims usually don’t matter unless they were critical of their religious traditions, or of capitalism.

Signed,

Lou Tafisk

Advertisements

3 responses

  1. I want to say something. I just don’t quite know how… If i were a naked dead guy would you like me?

    July 14, 2011 at 10:27 pm

    • I’m Jewish, too.

      July 14, 2011 at 10:27 pm

  2. I don’t think I follow what you’re trying to get at. The part I understand best is “I want to say something. I just don’t quite know how.” That’s the response I was expecting to get on this post because I think it would shock almost everybody if they knew what the faculty’s attitudes really are. For your sake, I hope you’re at a college where the professors aren’t like what I described. (You are college-age, right?)

    Oh, and I like you better alive.

    July 15, 2011 at 12:58 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s