What a former college instructor really thinks…

Why I’m Glad July 4th is During Summer Vacation

The 4th of July is almost here; while I’m looking forward to some fireworks, there are some fireworks I’m glad I won’t be seeing.

As you know, the holiday does not take place during the regular school year.  This means that our colleges and universities do not have an opportunity to smear this holiday like they do for others.  Let’s take Valentine’s Day as an example.  On many campuses, Valentine’s Day has morphed into V-Day.  No, that’s not a WWII reference and the V does not stand for Valentine.  The V is for Vagina.  In theory, this is a brilliant idea.  Let’s take a day when many of the men will be taking a female companion out and lead up to it by constantly reminding them of vaginas.  It sounds like a great rape prevention program!  (Yes, that was sarcasm in case you couldn’t tell.  The real reason professors support the idea of “V-Day” is that they think it will allow women to take control of language that has been used to demean them.  I’m not joking.)

And so now we arrive at the Fourth of July.  If college were in session, the faculty might try a different abbreviation: F-Day.  I’m sure you all can come up with some nice F-words that are thematically related to vagina, so I won’t go there.  Instead, I will go with the most taboo F-word on college campuses today: Failure.  That’s right!  Professors without tenure (and some who have tenure) cannot fail a student without putting their job in jeopardy; as I’ve indicated many times on this blog, failing students costs the university money and it can cause an academic department to receive reduced funding from the university. And since these professors can’t fail their students, they need to find someone else to fail.  It makes the professors feel good about themselves.

So they choose to fail the United States, and does anyone doubt that the 4th of July would be F-Day if classes were in session?  To be fair, the U.S. is hardly perfect, but there is something to be said for recognizing this country’s strengths in addition to its shortcomings.  Most of the time, professors like to harp on the shortcomings to the point that the big picture is lost.   Every day is F (for Failure) Day on campus when you’re talking about the United States.  Let’s be glad that one day still exists every year when the pendulum is allowed to swing in the other direction.

But if you must celebrate “F-Day” tomorrow, I hope the F stands for something fun.

Happy 4th of July!

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