Church Chat with the Gothic Blog Princess
Blogger‘s note: In my first post, I offered visitors the chance to be
attacked featured on my blog. If you are interested, leave a message in the comments area of that post. However: I won’t accept all requests. If you’re too nondescript for me to attack, don’t hold your breath…
I love advertisements. I especially love advertisements on blogs, and this is where my friend Raincoaster excels. Sort of.
Rainy runs a blog that is rather interesting, but I’d prefer to take a look at the business side of her work. If you click here, you will find that our wet little friend offers social media workshops and public speaking engagements. Okay. That’s nice. And on that page and her “About” page, she builds herself up as some sort of high-octane softcore goth princess. The picture on her “About” page looks a lot like Morticia Addams with bigger boobs, so you can’t really miss the image she’s trying to project. And she projects that image, like, sort of throughout her blog, but she offers a link to an external professional page where the photo of her shows a sweet looking blond woman with some minor bling. Damn.
Let’s review: Mixed martial artists who are trying to sell a tough-guy image can’t be photographed carrying a teddy bear and sucking their thumb. Somehow, “blond lady with bling” kind of destroys the product image I was imagining from this woman. It’s kind of like seeing Dennis Rodman in drag, but at least Rainy’s boobs are probably real. But you may object: might Rainy want to show her potential customers that she is an intelligent professional? I suppose, but then why go for the “blond lady with bling” photo? Since when do people associate “blond” with “intelligent professional?” However, “blond” does correlate nicely with “overly high view of herself” in most people’s minds.
Hey, Rainy! Do you really think you’re so great that you can transcend the Laws of Marketing? Really?
However, we all know that money is at the heart of all blogging endeavors… so I can’t blame her for coming out of the broom closet for a moment. But she seems to have forgotten the most important rule of online media management: God has a sense of humor and will ruin your website at his earliest convenience. And so I’m sure you can imagine the breathtaking image I found on Rainy’s page underneath the Voluptuous Morticia. You know… it’s the advertisement Rainy sold her soul to have on her page. In case you’re too dumb to figure out what I saw, here it is:
Now… I don’t attend church or browse any websites that could ever cause Google to put a religiously oriented ad on my screen. (Maybe Google thought my call to bring back crucifixion was a way of urging the faithful towards a holy mission.) But fairly or not, the ad reflects poorly on Rainy’s ability to keep her online presence on theme. Either that or she’s going soft. (Wait a minute… I think we already figured out that she’s going soft.) Or she found religion. And if you give Voluptuous Morticia some more clothes, she could almost pass for a nun… and all of a sudden you’d have a blog that’s fit for the new Church Lady.
Raincoaster calls herself the most infamous, and I suppose she’s right. Anyone who can attract divine intervention on her blog deserves to call herself infamous. And anyone’s whose work has been taught at several universities probably deserves some sort of divine intervention to set them straight. Because I’m such a fan of fireworks, I would have preferred to see lightning bolts… but obnoxious blog ads are okay too.
Moral of the Story: Money is the root of all religion.